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In this heartfelt episode, we honor the memory of a community member and countless other women whose lives have been tragically cut short by their intimate partners. Join us as we delve into the heart-wrenching issue of femicide and exploring the barriers that make it difficult for women to leave abusive situations. Together, we will uncover one practical way for each of us to empower a woman in an abusive situation.
By the end of this episode, you will learn how to create a safe space for your friend, family member, colleague, or community member facing abuse.
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Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
Welcome to this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her. I am your host Judith Kambia Obatusa
2022 stats by Womankind - Six women are killed every hour by men around the world, most by men in their own family or their partners.
One woman is killed by a man/men every 3 days in the UK.
Every day in Germany a man tries to kill his partner or ex-partner. Every third day an attempt is successful.
More than two thirds of all women (69%) intentionally killed in Africa in 2017 were killed by intimate partners or other family members.
In the US, 3 women are murdered a day by current or former partners
About once a week, a woman is killed by her male partner in Canada and Australia.
Today, we delve into a topic that is both heart-wrenching and essential to discuss: femicide. Femicide, the deliberate killing of women, is a stark reminder of the pervasive gender-based violence that plagues our society. It is a tragic reality that demands our attention and collective action.
We'll explore the complexities surrounding why women sometimes find it difficult to leave abusive situations and explore tangible ways each of us can empower women in need. But before we address how we can empower women, we must first understand the factors that often prevent them from leaving abusive relationships.
Often, one of the greatest barriers a woman faces is fear. Fear of retaliation, fear of judgment, fear of financial instability, and even fear for the safety of their children. These fears are deeply ingrained, intertwined with the complex dynamics of power and control that permeate abusive relationships.
We must recognize that leaving an abusive situation is not a simple decision. It requires immense courage, support, and a network of resources. So, how can each of us empower a woman who finds herself in such a situation? Let's explore some practical steps.
Step one: Listen without judgment. Create a safe space for women to share their experiences without fear of being blamed or shamed. Believe them, validate their feelings, and let them know they are not alone.
Creating a safe space for women to share their experiences without fear of blame or shame is crucial in empowering them to open up and seek support. Here's an example of how to create such an environment:
- Use non-judgmental language: When discussing sensitive topics, ensure your language is non-judgmental and empathetic. Avoid blaming or shaming language that could inadvertently make women feel guilty or defensive about their experiences.
Example: Instead of saying, "Why didn't you leave sooner?" say, "I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you. I'm here to support you."
- Active listening: Practice active listening when women share their experiences. Give them your full attention, maintain eye contact, and provide verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are genuinely engaged in what they are saying.
Example: Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and saying things like, "I hear you" or "That sounds incredibly tough" can help validate their feelings and experiences.
- Validate their emotions: Acknowledge and validate the emotions that women express. Let them know that their feelings are valid and understandable, without minimizing or dismissing their experiences.
Example: "It's completely understandable that you would feel scared in that situation. Your emotions are valid, and I'm here to support you through this."
- Maintain confidentiality: Assure women that their stories will be kept confidential, creating a safe and trusting environment. Respect their privacy and ensure that their experiences are not shared without their explicit permission.
Example: "I want you to know that whatever you share with me will be kept confidential. Your trust is important to me, and I want you to feel safe opening up."
- Avoid victim-blaming: Be mindful of avoiding victim-blaming statements or questions that could inadvertently place the responsibility on the survivor. Instead, focus on understanding their experiences and providing support.
Example: Instead of saying, "Why didn't you do something to prevent it?" say, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you. How can I support you moving forward?"
- Offer empathy and support: Express empathy and compassion towards the survivor's experiences. Let them know that you believe them and are there to support them without judgment.
Example: "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It must have been incredibly difficult. Please know that I believe you, and I'm here to support you in any way I can."
Creating a safe space requires ongoing effort and a commitment to empathy and understanding. It's important to be patient, allow survivors to share at their own pace, and provide resources or referrals when appropriate.
