Discover the transformative power of financial independence for a woman in an abusive relationship. Through survivor anecdotes, we explore how financial independence, networking, mentorship, and emotional support can help women break free from abuse, create a secure future, and build resilience.
At the end of this episode, you will learn how you can support that friend, family member, neighbour or colleague to get the financial independence they need to leave abuse. Be part of the solution by sharing this episode with those in your network who will benefit from it. Let us be our sister’s helper.
References in this episode
https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/quick-guide-economic-and-financial-abuse
https://next.voxcreative.com/c/ad/22787460/allstatefoundation-financial-abuse-support-guide
The Power of Parity: How Advancing Women’s Equality Can Add $12 Trillion to Global Growth
The Gender Gap in Financial Literacy: A Global Perspective Report
Join the Messy Can't Stop Her Sisterhood at https://www.facebook.com/groups/3204395256540448/
If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.
Thank you so much for listening.
Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
Discover the transformative power of financial independence for a woman in an abusive relationship. Through survivor anecdotes, we explore how financial independence, networking, mentorship, and emotional support can help women break free from abuse, create a secure future, and build resilience.
At the end of this episode, you will learn how you can support that friend, family member, neighbour or colleague to get the financial independence they need to leave abuse. Be part of the solution by sharing this episode with those in your network who will benefit from it. Let us be our sister’s helper.
References in this episode
https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/quick-guide-economic-and-financial-abuse
https://next.voxcreative.com/c/ad/22787460/allstatefoundation-financial-abuse-support-guide
The Power of Parity: How Advancing Women’s Equality Can Add $12 Trillion to Global Growth
The Gender Gap in Financial Literacy: A Global Perspective Report
Join the Messy Can't Stop Her Sisterhood at https://www.facebook.com/groups/3204395256540448/
If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.
Thank you so much for listening.
Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
Welcome to this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her. I am your host – Judith Kambia Obatusa – JKO. Today is the 3rd episode in our 4-part series on our role in ending femicide. On today’s episode, we will explore the importance of empowering women to develop skills, pursue employment opportunities, and access financial support systems that can provide them with security and freedom. Now, let's dive into the discussion.
Financial control is frequently employed to maintain power and control over women in abusive relationships. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. Abusers often restrict access to money, prevent employment, or sabotage job opportunities as part of their control tactics. Sometimes they could make the woman carry the financial burden of the family, amassing debt while they use their money for themself and their savings.
A study conducted by The Allstate Foundation found that nearly 96% of domestic violence survivors reported financial abuse during their relationships, including tactics like restricting access to money, preventing employment, or sabotaging job opportunities.
Survivors of abusive relationships often share anecdotes that highlight how financial control becomes a significant barrier to leaving the abusive situation. These stories shed light on the challenges faced by women who find themselves trapped without financial resources or job prospects. Let's consider the case of Yolanda.
Yolanda's partner had complete control over their finances, leaving her entirely dependent on him for even basic necessities. She had no access to their joint bank accounts, and every penny she spent was closely monitored. Furthermore, he isolated her from friends and family by moving them to a distant city and monitored her phone calls, increasing her sense of social and economic isolation.
Yolanda's lack of financial independence made it incredibly difficult for her to gather the necessary resources to leave the abusive relationship. With no savings, no credit history in her name, and limited job prospects due to being out of the workforce, Yolanda feared her inability to support herself and her children if she were to leave. This fear ultimately kept her trapped in the cycle of abuse.
Research by the McKinsey Global Institute suggests that advancing gender equality in the workforce could add $12 trillion to global GDP by 2025. Empowering women economically benefits not only the individuals themselves but also society as a whole.
Studies have shown that financial independence is associated with improved self-esteem, reduced risk of depression, and increased decision-making autonomy for women.
Achieving financial independence can be transformative for women in abusive relationships. Studies show that financial empowerment not only allows them to escape abusive situations but also enables them to pursue their passions and provide better opportunities for their children. Let me tell you my friend Sally's story.
Sally’s husband was a successful and well established immigrant in the US when he met her on one of his visits to his country in the West Indies. He married her and facilitated her migration to the US to join him. However, he was emotionally and physically abusive to her. Sally endured this for many years but through determination and hard work, she managed to gain financial independence. Despite the challenge of the marriage and having 3 children to take care of, Sally went back to school, obtained a degree, and secured a well-paying job. This newfound financial stability allowed her to leave the abusive relationship and provide a safe and secure environment for herself and her children. Sally's financial independence not only provided her with the means to escape the abusive situation but also gave her the confidence and freedom to pursue her passions and create a fulfilling life for herself and her family. Now both Sally and her children are thriving and happier.
Many women in difficult relationships become empowered when they are supported to go back to school, start a business, learn a skill, and start making their own money.
Another thing that motivates women in difficult relationships to seek financial independence is sharing the importance and the difference it makes in a woman’s life.
Encouraging self-assessment and skill development
Sharing data on the importance of self-assessment and skill development can inspire women to take action. For example, studies show that women with higher education levels have better employment prospects and earn higher salaries on average.
Sharing success stories of women who have pursued new careers or started successful businesses can illustrate the transformative potential of self-assessment and skill development. This will also renew hope in the woman. If that person did it, then I can do it too.
As a friend to that woman in abuse are you able to connect them to networking and mentorship?
Networking and mentorship also play a pivotal role in empowering women in abusive relationships. Research indicates that networking can significantly impact career advancement and entrepreneurial success. According to a study by LinkedIn, 70% of people were hired at a company where they had a connection. This data emphasizes the significance of networking opportunities for women seeking employment or entrepreneurial success.
Hear what happened to Maya.
Maya was in an abusive relationship in a city where she had no social or professional connections. While dropping off and picking up her son from school, he was in grade 6, she met another parent whose son happened to be in the same class with her son. As they took tentative steps towards friendship, her new friend learnt invited to a women’s day event at a local women's empowerment organization. Through the organization's networking events and mentorship programs, Maya connected with a successful businesswoman who became her mentor and advocate. The mentor recognized Maya's entrepreneurial drive and shared her expertise, providing guidance on business strategies, marketing, and connecting her with potential investors.
With her mentor's support, Maya started her own business and began networking within her industry. Through these connections, she found business partners, secured contracts, and expanded her customer base. The networking opportunities and mentorship not only allowed Maya to achieve financial independence but also helped her gain confidence and establish herself as a successful entrepreneur, free from the abuse she once endured.
Through networking and mentorship connections, women in difficult spousal relationships can get job opportunities, business partnerships, and career growth. This is why it is important that we do not see people in these situations as limited because they are going through these challenges. These women are much more than their abusive situation and they alone know their limit. Please provide them opportunities to become more.
So with a job or business comes the need for financial literacy because financial independence comes from our knowledge of our finances.
Data shows that women often face unique challenges when it comes to financial literacy. According to the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center, women worldwide tend to have lower financial literacy scores than men. These challenges get further compounded when abuse is involved, but when women are empowered, it can make a huge difference to their financial freedom. Let me share Cindy’s story of freedom with you.
Cindy was in an abusive relationship where her partner controlled all the finances. She had no knowledge or control over their joint bank accounts and felt completely dependent on her partner for financial stability. Determined to gain control over her financial situation, Cindy enrolled in a financial education program offered by a local organization supporting survivors of domestic violence. Through the program, she learned about budgeting, saving, and investing.
As she gained knowledge and confidence in managing her finances, she started making informed decisions. She set up a separate bank account in her name, developed a budget, and began saving money. With the guidance of financial educators, she also learned about investment opportunities that could help her secure her future.
The impact of financial education on Cindy's life was transformative. It empowered her to take control of her finances, make informed decisions, and ultimately break free from the abusive relationship. By understanding her financial situation and having a plan in place, Cindy was able to create a foundation of stability and security for herself and her children.
The power of emotional support
In challenging situations like leaving an abusive relationship, emotional support plays a vital role. Research suggests that social support is crucial for individuals facing challenging situations, such as job searching or starting a business. Emotional support can help alleviate stress and improve mental well-being.
Numerous studies have highlighted the positive impact of emotional support on individuals facing challenging circumstances. Having a supportive network of family, friends, or mentors can provide a sense of belonging, empathy, and understanding. Research suggests that emotional support can help individuals cope with stress, reduce feelings of isolation, and enhance their overall well-being.
A study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior found that emotional support from close relationships, such as friends and family, was associated with lower levels of psychological distress. Having someone to share concerns, provide encouragement, and offer a listening ear can significantly impact an individual's emotional state during challenging times. This was what happened in Nina’s story.
Nina was in an abusive relationship where her partner systematically undermined her self-esteem and isolated her from her friends and family. However, she eventually confided in a coworker about the abuse she was experiencing. The coworker became a source of unwavering emotional support, offering a listening ear, validating her experiences, and encouraging her to seek help. This emotional support became a lifeline for Nina and gave her the courage to reach out to local domestic violence resources and create a plan to leave the abusive relationship. The ongoing support from her coworker played a pivotal role in her journey to reclaim her life and regain her sense of self-worth.
Note the phrase ongoing support. One way we can also do this is by cheering them on. In challenging situations like leaving an abusive relationship, emotional support plays a vital role.
Recognizing and celebrating the progressive steps of a woman in an abusive relationship is paramount in building her resilience. Each step taken represents a triumph over fear and adversity. By acknowledging and celebrating her accomplishments, no matter how small, we validate her strength and determination. This recognition uplifts her spirit, reminds her of her resilience and worth, and empowers her to keep moving forward.
In this episode, we explored the issue of financial control as a tool used to keep women trapped in abusive relationships. We emphasized the importance of empowering women to develop skills, seek employment opportunities, access financial support systems, and receive emotional support. By providing the necessary tools and support, we can help women break free from abusive relationships, achieve financial independence, and build a better future for themselves and their children. When we do this, messy can’t stop us. Thank you so much for listening, see you next time.