In this episode of Messy Can't Stop Her, host Judith Kambia Obatusa - JKO, offers practical insights on navigating challenges. She encourages listeners, especially women in difficult situations, to take small steps toward positive change and personal growth in 2024. Join JKO as she discusses finding strength, embracing adversity, and stepping forward with purpose, making it clear that thriving is achievable even in the most difficult times.
Join the Messy Can't Stop Her Sisterhood at https://www.facebook.com/groups/3204395256540448/
If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.
Thank you so much for listening.
Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
In this episode of Messy Can't Stop Her, host Judith Kambia Obatusa - JKO, offers practical insights on navigating challenges. She encourages listeners, especially women in difficult situations, to take small steps toward positive change and personal growth in 2024. Join JKO as she discusses finding strength, embracing adversity, and stepping forward with purpose, making it clear that thriving is achievable even in the most difficult times.
Join the Messy Can't Stop Her Sisterhood at https://www.facebook.com/groups/3204395256540448/
If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.
Thank you so much for listening.
Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
[00:00:00] Welcome to this episode of Messy Can't Stop Her. I am your host, Judith Kambia Obatusa, J K O. Happy New Year. This is the first episode of Messy Can't Stop Her in 2024. I am so delighted to be back. After a long time away, I have been dealing with a triple loss actually, because of my firstborn who is a twin.
So her loss is like losing two children together at the same time because I lost her sister when they were both about 10 weeks old, and now I lost her at the age of 24, just two months to her 25th birthday. I also lost my aunt, and then my sister, who was my confidant, my prayer partner, between August 1 and September 29th.
It's been a journey. They say that grief is a journey [00:01:00] and just like many other journeys that we go through in life, if we say we have to wait for those situations to end, we don't know how long that wait would be, can I wait for the rest of my life? because I don't know how it is for me to be able to get over the loss of my firstborn or my sister or my aunt, all the other losses I've had.
So today I want to talk about thriving when life doesn't look like the challenges will end. You may be in a difficult relationship because women in difficult relationships, you are the ones that I have my heart. You have my heart, because I know what it's like. [00:02:00] Difficult life situations. As a woman, there's so much burden that we bear.
And then when the life situation is difficult, it just compounds it all. Even when it's not our fault, we get judged, we judge ourselves too. So, I just want to talk to you, that sister, who feels like she's got to wait till things change, till things get better, till she gets slimmer, till she gets more education, till she believes she's enough, before she brings her value.
Do you know that
your problem is not who you are?
Do you know that you are more than the challenges that you are living in or living through? Do you know that right now, right here, where you are, [00:03:00] this moment, with everything going on around you, or everything that has been going on, You are enough. Do you know that there's someone's whose life will be helped by you just as you are, if only you will step out and step up to the podium of your life.
So as we step into 2024, I want to encourage us. I want to challenge us, including myself. To no longer wait, Lisa Nicole said, even if you have a long list of plans, you write them down your goals, everything, and you don't take action, nothing will change. Some of us, we attend all kinds of programs, we listen to messages in church, we listen to [00:04:00] podcasts, we watch YouTube videos, we get all this information, but we do nothing.
We're waiting for our lives to be different, we're waiting for our spouses to love us better. We're waiting to, okay, I'm going to lose this weight, or my children are going to be better than that, then that, that's when I'll, I'll step out that’s when I'll do better, or whatever your excuse may be.
Think about this. An African proverb says the journey of a thousand miles. begins with one step. You need to take the one step forward, and that step doesn't have to be a long, wide step. It can just be one foot in front of the other, but you are in motion. You are taking [00:05:00] action. So I want to ask you to think for a moment about that dream that you had.
Or maybe you don't even know what the dream is. Do you know that just by helping your neighbor, just by saying good morning with a smile on your face to everyone you meet, you can make a difference?
Just by Showing people around you that they are worthy, even though you may be living with somebody who's making you feel that you're not worthy, or you grew up hearing that you are not good enough, just by not giving that to someone else by telling someone else that, you know what, you're good enough,
you are empowering yourself. So I want to challenge you as we [00:06:00] step into 2024. One of the things that has helped me through the tough times I've had is identifying what is valuable to me. What do I value? What are my values? My number one value is love. So I decided, you know what?
I want to be known for love. What is love? Love is patient. The Bible says in first Corinthians 13, love is kind. Love is long suffering. Love does not keep a record of wrongs and a whole lot of other good things that love is. So I take that scripture. When I look at my life, I'm working towards [00:07:00] being more long suffering,
I'm working towards not keeping a record of wrongs and I'm succeeding. One way I don't keep a record of wrongs is I forgive. I practice this principle of advanced forgiveness. Donna Fairhurst, one of my previous, previous guests on this show.
She talked about forgiveness. So the principle of advanced forgiveness is what I practice. Because that principle means that I forgive you for things you haven't yet done to me. So it's easier for me to forgive. I don't forgive you because you deserve my forgiveness. I forgive you because I have to forgive you for myself [00:08:00] to be free.
So even if, if, if that's what you're struggling with, take action. You can decide that that's what I'm going to work on. I'm going to give people the gift of forgiveness. What I want to challenge you to do in 2024 is to bring the best of you to the world around you. Don’t live your life, waiting for something to change before you can be yourself, before you can live.
The truth is that we don't know when change can occur especially when we're dealing with other people, we don't know when the challenge that we're grappling with will end. If I'm waiting for my challenges to end, then I will never, ever have been able to do anything. And why I started this podcast is because of [00:09:00] people like me, people who are living in trouble and it seems so unending.
So if you're one of those women, I want to encourage you, and like I said before, challenge you. To pick one thing and focus on it and change
the sitting, waiting posture into the doing and reaching out posture. And let me tell you something, if you do this, messy won't stop you. Thank you so much for listening and see you next time.