Watch Those Thoughts

A thought-provoking exploration into the concept that: "Your thoughts determine how you experience life; improve your thoughts, improve your life." 

Following the theme of thriving through chaos, JKO emphasizes how our thoughts shape our experiences. Drawing from personal stories and insights shared by guests, she highlights the transformative power of positive thinking. JKO encourages listeners to be mindful of what they consume—media, conversations, and thoughts—and concludes with a call to take charge of their thinking. 

Tune in to discover how changing your thoughts can empower you to face life's messiness with resilience.

Join the Messy Can't Stop Her Sisterhood at https://www.facebook.com/groups/3204395256540448/

If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know.

Thank you so much for listening.

Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to this episode of Mercy Can't Stop Her. I'm your host, Judith Kambia Obatusa, J K O. On today's episode, I'd like to talk about how important it is to watch our thoughts if we want to thrive through chaos. So last week we talked about thriving through chaos. On this podcast, we've had different women come and this has been Something that I've learned from them.

I've also seen it in my own life and I've seen it in other people's lives, many lives. Once we begin to work on ourselves from inside, our outside will begin to look like what we are thinking inside. Our thoughts determine how we experience life. So if we want to [00:01:00] improve our life, we start with improving our thoughts.

Our thoughts determine how we experience life. The attitude with which we face situations that are uncomfortable. So if you're in a chaotic life like the woman I'm talking to, that woman that her life is challenging, and she's not able to leave the situation that is uncomfortable. Just walk away from her challenge, especially as regards family life.

This is something you need to think about. There is the story of a little boy whose father said he should sit down. He said, no, I don't want to sit down with daddy. Daddy said, sit down. No, I don't want to sit down. Then Daddy now said, sit down right now. [00:02:00] And he saw that his father was serious. So he sat down and looked at his father and said, Daddy, I'm only sitting because you said I should sit.

But let me tell you, inside, I am standing. Right inside of me, I am standing up. And that's how life is. Sometimes we have faced the situations that are beyond our capability. To physically maneuver our minds, our hours. No one can manipulate our minds if we don't, if we don't let them. So I want to say to you, you have the power to change your situation.

You have the power to change the way you are experiencing your situation just by changing the way you think. [00:03:00] Being able to influence your thoughts. Being able to determine, to choose what stays inside of you. It's like having your very own superpower, power to shape your reality. So, when we say, it is my reality, that is actually possible.

To have a reality that is positive, even when all around us is negative. It's like what the Bible says, the kiss in the middle of the storm. You are surrounded by the waves, so strong and so terrifying, but inside you are peaceful. Every thought you entertain, every perspective you choose to adopt, colors the lens [00:04:00] through which you perceive the world that you're living in.

See, the truth is, this world, you see, we are all living in the world. We're all in different parts of the world, we're all going through different things. So if you want to change the color of the world you found yourself in, you can do that by changing the way you think. Or maybe you're saying, Oh, you don't know how bad I have it.

Everything is so bad. My health is bad. My kids are not doing well. My husband is, or my spouse is not treating me well. My finances are very, very, very poor. My sisters don't like me. My neighbor doesn't talk to me. If everything around you is so bad, I'm telling you what Henry Ford said. If you think you can, or if you think you can't, you [00:05:00] are right.

You can or you can't is a choice and for every woman who has come on this podcast to share her story. If you listen to them, you'll find that at a point they had to choose. But one thing that changed that made them choose differently. Was something that had been brewing inside of them. So the first place for you to get change, first step is to fight for the thoughts in your heart to align with the future that you want.

Not for the reality of your present situation to align with your future, but for the thoughts in your heart to align with your future. The Bible says, As a man thinks in his heart, so he is. It is the way you think that you are. If you think that you are no good, then you are no good. [00:06:00] Even if everybody tells you you are excellent, you're doing great, you won't believe it.

My first real job after youth service in Nigeria, we have what we call national youth service. I worked with a wonderful organization, my supervisor, the owner of the organization was a wonderful Christian. And he used to tell me how, how wonderful I was, how great I was. I was still filled with fear and low self esteem, but I was being celebrated.

But yet, my low self esteem did not allow me to take opportunities when I was given. And that is what happens. You have to change your thinking to be able to step into the life that you actually desire. Sometimes, our challenges beat us down so badly we can't even dream anymore. That [00:07:00] is why changing the way we think is so vital. Let's Just take a look at what positive thinking, changing your thoughts to a positive line, what it does to you. It can be a game changer. It can change

how your challenges come out. Because you're facing your challenges with an optimistic outlook. Instead of seeing them as insurmountable obstacles, you see them as opportunities for growth and your own thoughts become the architects begin to create your mansion, your cities of resilience and perseverance.

Can you imagine when you are? Overflowing with such a positive outlook, [00:08:00] how it changes, how it changes your internal environment. And the beauty of positive thinking is that it will overflow into your external. Life can be very hard for some of us. A friend of mine wrote on Facebook that some people just keep having problems upon problems.

Or is it that some of us have challenges upon challenges? How,

if we were to give up on positivity, what life would we have? And I don't know if you're one of us. One of those people who face challenges in long term. I'm here to tell you. You can change the way you [00:09:00] experience those challenges by changing the way you think. See, changing the way you think and becoming positive does not mean that you're dismissing complexities of the life that you found, found yourself in.

Sometimes we don't even know how we got here. But let me tell you, it's about choosing. How you respond to them or a robots wrote a book, how to respond instead of to react. I read it when I was a teenager, I'm 52 going to 53. And that book talked about the fact that when you react to a situation, you have been emotional and you're out of control many times.

But when you respond to your intention, you're in control of your thoughts [00:10:00] and of your actions.

So, it's about a choice. Do you choose to live your life, beating down and broken, blaming, blaming, being ashamed, feeling guilty, all these negative thoughts? Or do you choose to see the mistakes as opportunities to share a message? For example, this message is important to make a difference. Because of my daughter.

Who passed away when my children were younger, even up until six years or five years ago, I was irritable. I was dealing with so many emotional challenges and problems, problems around me. I was handling it, but I wasn't handling it as well as I am now because I didn't know myself as well as I [00:11:00] do now.

And I had to learn things like meditation that I have learned now and how my breath can help me calm down and all that stuff. And all the books, the new books I've read and the community of women, I've found myself where I have people who support me, people who have experienced what I've experienced, people who are like me, it changed my life because it changed my life and the way I related to my children.

I want you to, to experience it because as mothers, we can't afford to ruin our children because we didn't take care of our emotions. We didn't heal ourselves from inside, even if it's our mistake. We have refused to make that mistake a mess, but we are going to turn it into a message. If you're with me, I want you to listen, [00:12:00] listen, Apply

just me. I wrote a book called metal field of the mind. It's in the mind that we form success or failure is in the mind that we go forward or we give up. That's the first place.

Everything can be controlled around you, but nobody can control the thoughts that you have. Look, your mind is not a garbage dump that any thoughts passing and just sit down in it. If you have to speak out, speak out against it. But today we're just talking about how you determine the life that you have and how you experience it.

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and a renowned psychiatrist, said [00:13:00] something. He said, everything can be taken from a man. What one thing, the last of the human freedoms, and that is the power to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, does not matter the circumstances. What do you choose your attitude to be?

Do you want to be crying or you want to be joyful? You know what? My daughter. Died at 24, two months to our 25th birthday, and I don't want to forget her. And I think back at my life and how could I have helped my daughter? How did I not equip her to live a better life? In what ways could I help other people [00:14:00] from not going through what I have gone through?

In what ways can the memory of my daughter?

My daughter loved music. She taught me songs. She introduced me to songs like Baby Calm Down, Rema. And I found one mix of that song that was done by a Grammy award winning flutist. And he did it with a South African choir, of young people.

He did a, a, a beautiful, beautiful mix of Rema's song. When I was playing this song, I shared it with some people at work. And last Thursday, I finished work and I was dancing. I was playing all the songs my daughter liked. Just to remind myself of, to, to remind her that she's still here. She's nice spirit, right?

My daughter lost [00:15:00] many pounds. She was like a size 12 and she became like an eight or even four. I don't know. Very small. She did it all by herself. Very disciplined. And now I've signed up for exercise and I do it in the house by myself, just online.

My daughter. Her fashion sense was solid. So, I can't say mine is, but I'm now trying to improve my fashion. Since she's not here to, to live this life, I'm going to live. I'm going to live. And that's a choice. Instead of me to be thinking, crying, my son said this to me. How, could you, could you cry about something that you can't change?

She's not gonna come back. [00:16:00] My 15 year old told me this and I told him, how do you cope when you remember her? He said "I think about something that will make me happy so that I'm not sad and that was very very Great information from a 15 year old and so I'm also adding that to my toolbox So I want to say Let us work on our thoughts.

Next week, I'll be sharing some ways in which we can begin to work on our thoughts. But before I leave, I'll leave you with something. Watch the music you listen to, the things you watch on TV, even the radio stations you listen to, things that you listen to generally and things you watch, [00:17:00] watch them, watch the conversations that you have, watch what you read, those things.

Impact your mind and whatever is around you. That is a challenge, even if it's a one line mantra. So maybe you are struggling with, I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. Start saying to yourself, I am enough. Just only I am enough. Three words, say it and say it and say it until your spirit receives it.

Next week, I'll be sharing some other things around how to thrive through chaos. Because this whole time, this whole season, we're going to be talking about thriving through chaos. Basically, that's what Messy Can't Stop Her is about. But I just want you to work on yourself. Work on your thoughts. Work on your thoughts.

See how your thoughts have impacted you. And see [00:18:00] The new thoughts that you prefer to have and next week, we'll keep on going. Don't forget, watch what you listen to, watch what you watch, watch what you read. And when you do this, when you take charge of your thinking, messy won't stop you. Thank you so much for listening and see you next time.