Lessons from the Pain Lab of Life: How chaos, crisis and challenges are a training ground for your elevation

Have you ever felt that your life was filled with curveballs? What if those challenges are preparing you for greatness? Through science-backed insights and scriptural lessons, learn how the messiest challenges on our journey are not setbacks but setups for our elevation. If you ever wondered why this trouble, this episode is for you. 

Nuggets of wisdom in this episode

Every experience, whether good or bad, is part of a greater plan—not just for you, but for you to inspire and encourage others.

The brain's ability to rewire itself during tough times strengthens our ability to adapt, solve problems, and navigate similar situations in the future.

Suffering and tribulations produce perseverance, character, and hope, working together for our good and preparing us for greater purposes.

Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow; Instead of asking, “Why me?” shift to asking, “What am I learning?”

The messiest parts of your life often hold the most powerful lessons.

Key Scriptures: Romans 5:3-4, Romans 8:28, Joshua 2, Hebrews 11

References in this episode

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf

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Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter

Transcript

Welcome to this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her, the podcast where we celebrate the resilience of women and embrace the beautiful chaos of navigating the trenches of life. I am your host Judith Kambia Obatusa – JKO. I am so glad you're here today.

Last week, we tackled the question, “What will people think?”— the silent saboteur of our progress as women. We talked about how obsessing over the opinions of others' can keep us from stepping into our true potential and fulfilling our purpose. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, I highly recommend you do, because today's episode builds on that foundation of breaking free from societal expectations and embracing our individual journeys. I will put a link in this episode’s show notes for you to check it out.

When you're in the thick of a tough situation, it’s easy to ask, “Why me?” or even “What am I doing wrong?” But what if I tell you that the chaos, crisis and challenges that we face are classrooms. Yes, what if the very thing you’re walking through is designed to teach you what you’ll need in the future? 

Do you know that this isn’t just an abstract idea? Hmm hnh, it is backed by both science and scripture.

Science tells us that our brains are incredibly adaptive. There is a fascinating concept in science called neuroplasticity. This is the brain's ability to change and adapt in response to experiences. During challenging times, our brains rewire themselves and helps us develop new skills and resilience. This rewiring is called forming new neural pathways. It's like building muscle memory for our minds. As a muscle grows stronger after being subjected to resistance; our minds and spirits also grow stronger when we navigate difficult situations. 

Psychologists call this post-traumatic growth—the phenomenon where individuals emerge from adversity with new perspectives, stronger relationships, and greater resilience. Research shows that challenges can enhance creativity and problem-solving skills. It’s not the trauma itself but how we navigate through it that produces growth.

Think of a butterfly. Before it can take flight, it wrestles in a cocoon. That struggle strengthens its wings so it can fly. If you cut the process short, thinking you’re helping, the butterfly never develops the strength to soar. Similarly, our struggles are preparing us for elevation. The persistence we build, the lessons we learn, and the wisdom we gain are all essential.

My sisters, those hard, messy moments that we face in life can become training grounds for sharpening and molding us for our future elevation. 

If you would like to learn more about neuroplasticity and post-traumatic growth, check out Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, a podcast hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf, a clinical neuroscientist and mental health & mind expert.

Scripture also talks about this concept of growing challenges. In Romans 5:3-4, Apostle Paul says, "We also glory in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope." This passage reminds us that the trials we face are not in vain. They are shaping us, molding our character, and preparing us for the greater purposes that lie ahead.

Have you ever looked back on a particularly hard time in your life and realized that it taught you invaluable lessons or led to opportunities you wouldn't have encountered otherwise? This is no coincidence. These experiences are like a forge, refining and preparing us for the roles we are meant to play in the future. They are the experiences that shape us into strong, resilient and accomplished women.

One of my favorite scriptures, Romans 8:28, provides wisdom on the value of trials and tribulations by reminding us that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Hard times, sad times, tough times, bad times, they all work together for your good.

Think about Rahab in the Bible. I do not know why she became a prostitute but for whatever reason, she was thrust into that world. Does finding herself having to survive by becoming a prostitute look like preparation for greatness? No. But every step was crucial for her destiny.

To be a successful prostitute, Rahab had to learn to negotiate boldly and not be afraid to ask for what she wanted. This skill became vital when she negotiated with the Israelite spies. Not only was she skilled in negotiation, she had also learnt how to recognize who the power dynamics in a situation favoured. She said in verse 8 of Joshua ch2:  I know that the Lord has given you the land. She already knew that the Israelites were going to win so she chose to cast in her lot with them. 

Prostitutes have to be fearless so that they are able to hold their own when they are around people of influence and power. This can be seen in the confidence and composure she used to handle the king’s men who came looking for the Israelite spies. The life of a prostitute is one of constant risks, so Rahab had learnt how to take calculated risks that benefited her. She risked her life, her livelihood, and her safety to help the spies, and she risked it all to follow a God she could not see.

I do not know whether her family was proud that she was a prostitute. I do not know whether she herself was proud of that life, but when it mattered most, the skills that she had learnt in pain, derision and disrespect saved her and her family and put her in the lineage of Jesus.

You will find Rahab the prostitute listed among the heroes of faith in Hebrews ch11, a place of honour and significance.

The story of Rahab reminds us that no matter how shameful or painful our experience may be, God can still use it for His glory. What looks like a dead end in your life today, could be the foundation for your greatness tomorrow. God does not waste any part of your journey – not the pain, not the mess, not the delay. Every struggle, every challenge, every trouble that we face in the trenches of life is an opportunity to prepare and shape us into the people we need to be to carry out God’s purpose for our lives. 

In neuroscience, repeated exposure to challenges helps the brain form new neural pathways. This is why practice makes perfect, The more we adapt to adversity, the stronger those pathways become, making it easier to navigate similar situations in the future. And God is also working on the same principle in our lives. 

It’s easy to get stuck in a victim mindset or become bitter during hard times. But what if, instead, we saw them as opportunities to grow? The next time you’re facing something tough, ask yourself:

• What am I learning here?
• How might this prepare me for my next step?
• How can I lean into God’s promise that this is working for my good?

As we close today, I want to remind you that every experience – good or bad – is part of your story. And your story is not just for you; it’s for someone else who needs your testimony. Your mess becomes the message that inspires someone else to keep going.

Prayer time

If today’s episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need this reminder. I’d love to hear about it. Share your story, your thoughts, or even the lessons you’ve learned from your own messy moments. Find me on social media or email me directly—details are in the show notes.

My sisters, I encourage you to embrace life’s difficult moments. Remember, they are your training ground. See them not as stumbling blocks, but as stepping-stones on your journey to greatness. See them not as setbacks, but as setups for your elevation. When you do this, messy won’t stop you.

Thank you so much for listening. See you next week!